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Recently I attended a retreat in which I truly felt a part of me that is quiet and listens with compassion, without the mind chatter and judgements that I am so familiar with. This part of me is my heart, and I have learned that it is quite a different body sensation to listen with my heart, rather than with my mind.
When I listen from my mind, I am analyzing words, trying to solve problems, trying to discover meanings, thinking what in the past could relate to what they are saying, and many other things happen that is my busy mind thinking instead of feeling. So, to feel, I can listen from my heart.
To listen from my heart, I feel my heart area in my body. I stay there while the person talks to me. I listen and feel for their energy, emotions, concerns, and other feelings around what they are saying. I can feel my own energy reactions in my body as I listen, so that I am not in my busy mind, but instead energetically and emotionally connecting to them and their story.
In this way, I will ask questions and feel compassion. Tears may come to my eyes, I may cry, or I will feel their happiness or any other emotion they are feeling. We share a human and conscious moment that is not possible when I listen from my mind.
Many people are not used to, or comfortable with, listening from their heart, because when you open your heart, you open yourself to your own issues being triggered by what you feel from listening. Many people would rather not go there, because they do not know how to handle the intense emotions that arise. It takes practice to recognize an emotion, own it as your own, feel it, and allow it to pass through you and away.
I was fortunate to have a retreat participant who reminded me at one point to stay in my heart. My reactive mind wanted to resist, but fortunately I listened to that suggestion and my own heart, and am trying my best to stay in my heart as much as possible.
How about you? Some very basic steps to listening from your heart follow:
1. Listen without talking. Do not speak. Listen to their words.
2. As you listen quietly, bring your attention to your heart area.
3. Allow yourself to open your heart, and be ready for the emotions you will feel when listening with your heart open.
4. If you ask questions or speak, allow those words to be rich with emotion and observations, "I feel such sadness when you tell me that. Thank you so much for sharing what must be difficult for you to express."
5. Hug, continue speaking, or whatever feels right as you continue listening from your heart.
Broaden your human experience: listen from your heart and connect with that energy in both of you.
Published 11/12/09 at Morning Coach. |
