Contemplation: Turn off the TV, turn on the connection
The other night I went to dinner with a group of friends. I was seated next to a young woman who is living with her mother for the moment. She was describing how in her mother's condominium building, there are TVs seemingly everywhere. In common areas, TVs blare their sound and visuals.
If just seeing TVs can be distracting, imagine the effect that your TV or computer has on connecting with others, especially in relation to how deeply you are connecting.
Whether you are at work, home, at the condo common areas, or in the neighborhood restaurants, TVs and computers are robbing us of meaningful connecting.
What can we do about this? We can turn off the TV, and turn on the connection.
1. Look at each other - Not a TV or computer screen
It's astounding how little time we spend looking at other people, in meetings in your office, or over dinner with the family, when a TV or computer screen is on. Turn it off, or put it to sleep, turn around, and look at the people you are with.
2. Look in their eyes - Feel the connection
When you look into the eyes of other people, you will feel a deeper connection. You set up respect and a feeling of validation, by paying attention to other people through your eyes.
3. Listen and talk - With no distractions
It is amazing how much you will learn about others by talking to them, without the drone and distraction of the TV in the background. You will be able to hear them and really listen to them, and focus on the emotion and intent behind the words.
4. Ask questions - Get deeper understanding
When we focus on the what the other person is talking about, we can ask questions that make sense. Your listener will appreciate these questions, rather than continually asking them to repeat themselves or asking questions that they already answered, had we listened to them instead of the noise in the background.
When you connect like this, you will add new depth to your life and the life of the others!
Published 09/17/09 at Morning Coach. |
